My first week as a college student:

~Kinda sad because Kate, one of my two best friends, left me and flew back all the way to England.

~Exciting to meet my new roommate Lauren.

~Interesting classes.

~Great social life.

~I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to!

~Nice Eye Candy!

To Be Continued......I'm tired!

So the senior trip was awesome. I was kinda scared for Jess.......i wanted her to be ok. and she was so its all good. we (des, jess, brie, katelyn, lindsey, paige, patty and kaylen) went on tons of rides. i wasn't really nervous except Superman. i dont do well with drops. the rest of the day was awesome. tomorrow i have graduation practice then the superintendent is taking the illinois state scholars to johnny's italian steakhouse for lunch. pretty freakin sweet! saturday is my grad party. 4-8. stop by! sunday is graduation! then sooner or later i get to go to camp! then to europe then back to camp then kate comes then i'm off to college. can't wait. absolutely can't. i'm finally happy!

for now

Wow Its been forever and no one will probably read it. I admit that I've been a pathetic bitter bitch this year. I want everyone to know I didn't want to be. I just can't deal with it anymore. The person I'm closest to lives the furthest away. I wish I knew where to go from here. I'm so confused and messed up. There are so many things I want/need to do, so many things I want to say before I go off to Northern. I think I'll be happy there. I think going somewhere where no one from my  current life is *except one person* will be healthy for me. I need change, as much as I hate it. I need a new beginning. I need to reinvent myself. Something I can't do here. There are too many expectations. Too many questions that I can't answer. I'm not strong enough.

I'm just not strong enough.